“Is Therapy Right for Us?”
Starting therapy can feel overwhelming—especially if you’re unsure whether it’s the right move. These are some of the most common questions couples ask me when they’re facing relationship challenges, and my goal is to help you feel seen, understood, and supported as you consider your next step.
How do we make decisions about important issues (financial, job/career, parenting, relating to in-laws, where to live) when we disagree?
Every important issue has two components: “content” and “process.” If we get the process right – if we learn to speak to each other with honesty, kindness, and vulnerability, and learn to listen to each other with curiosity and compassion – the content issues will become much easier to talk about, and making mutually respectful decisions will become much easier.
Can our relationship be saved?
If each of you is willing to work on exploring and changing your own thinking, emotions, and behavior, and if both of you are willing to work on listening and speaking in a new way, then your relationship can definitely be saved!
Why do we keep having the same argument?
If we keep doing the things we’ve always done, we’ll keep getting what we’ve always gotten. Couples can find themselves in a “dysfunctional dance,” but when they learn to hear different “music” (their emotions and their partner’s emotions), they will be able to turn their “dysfunctional dance” into a close connection.
How do we rebuild trust after it’s been broken?
In brief, the partner who did the hurting must do at least these three things: (1) develop an understanding of why they did what they did; (2) become willing to understand their partner’s pain around the betrayal; and (3) become willing to listen compassionately to their partner’s on-going pain (while the hurt partner does their own on-going work of healing). But the process really is delicate and complicated, and you might need professional help.
If you see yourself in any of these questions, you’re not alone—and help is available.
I invite you to call, text, or email me to book your free 15-minute Zoom consultation. Let’s talk about what’s going on and see how I can support you on the path toward healing and connection.
Voices from the Journey
The greatest measure of our work is the confidence and trust of those we’ve supported
Read My Book!
About the book:
Creating a life-giving and long-lasting relationship takes work! As a result of past wounds and present challenges, partners can end up in a "dysfunctional dance" that threatens their emotional bond-but the relationship doesn't have to stay this way. Based on his experience of working with hundreds of couples over the past fifteen years, Dr. Jay Feld explains the psychology of attachment, including what you can do to strengthen your bond and what you must avoid in order to keep it strong. He includes seven proven practices couples can use to better understand and strengthen their relationship.
Dr. Jay R. Feld
We lead stressful lives in a hectic culture, in an imperfect world, and sometimes our suffering spills over the top. And we would like an environment of safety and grace, where we can grow as individuals, couples, and families.
In my counseling practice, I promote recovery, healing, and growth by helping my clients build safe and healthy relationships, develop consistent habits of self-care, and find meaning and fulfillment in their relationships and their work. I deeply respect the spiritual journeys of all my clients.
I welcome the opportunity to accompany you on your journey, in an environment of safety and grace. I look forward to walking together with you toward restoration and wholeness.
