Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

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“Is Therapy Right for Us?”

Starting therapy can feel overwhelming—especially if you’re unsure whether it’s the right move. These are some of the most common questions couples ask me when they’re facing relationship challenges, and my goal is to help you feel seen, understood, and supported as you consider your next step.

Every important issue has two components: “content” and “process.” If we get the process right – if we learn to speak to each other with honesty, kindness, and vulnerability, and learn to listen to each other with curiosity and compassion – the content issues will become much easier to talk about, and making mutually respectful decisions will become much easier.

If each of you is willing to work on exploring and changing your own thinking, emotions, and behavior, and if both of you are willing to work on listening and speaking in a new way, then your relationship can definitely be saved!

If we keep doing the things we’ve always done, we’ll keep getting what we’ve always gotten. Couples can find themselves in a “dysfunctional dance,” but when they learn to hear different “music” (their emotions and their partner’s emotions), they will be able to turn their “dysfunctional dance” into a close connection.

In brief, the partner who did the hurting must do at least these three things: (1) develop an understanding of why they did what they did; (2) become willing to understand their partner’s pain around the betrayal; and (3) become willing to listen compassionately to their partner’s on-going pain (while the hurt partner does their own on-going work of healing). But the process really is delicate and complicated, and you might need professional help.

If you see yourself in any of these questions, you’re not alone—and help is available.


I invite you to calltext, or email me to book your free 15-minute Zoom consultation. Let’s talk about what’s going on and see how I can support you on the path toward healing and connection.

Voices from the Journey

The greatest measure of our work is the confidence and trust of those we’ve supported

Jim Owens

I have known Dr. Feld for over 30 years. I have recommended numerous individuals and couples to Dr. Jay for individual and couples counseling because of his training, skill, life experience, and spiritual maturity. Dr. Jay is able to integrate emotional and relational health with spirituality in ways few others are able. He is compassionate and gracious and able to help individuals and couples break free of habits, attitudes, and behaviors that hinder healthy relationships. relationships.

Rev. Aaron Chan

Dr. Jay and I have known each other for close to 2 decades and he is one of the few counselors in the New York Metro area whom I would recommend without reservation. His gentle and unhurried demeanor, his emotionally healthy approach, and his years of wisdom as counselor are the reasons I regularly refer Christians to him. Jay and I have known each other for close to 2 decades and he is one of the few counselors in the New York Metro area whom I would recommend without reservation. His gentle and unhurried demeanor, his emotionally healthy approach, and his years of wisdom as counselor are the reasons I regularly refer Christians to him.

Marci Miller

I have known Dr Feld for several years. I have worked closely with him in my capacity as the Pastoral Care Minister with Lower Manhattan Community Church. Dr Feld has been an integral and active part of our congregation’s spiritual and mental health. His approach has been instrumental in countless marriages being saved and flourishing. I have seen the impact and benefits of Dr Feld’s approach and our church has been so blessed to have his services. He has been accessible in emergencies, routine care and even in teaching classes for our marriage groups. I cannot recommend Dr Jay enough! We are so grateful for everything he has done for the marriages of our church and NYC at large.

Drew Hyun

I’ve known Jay for almost 24 years, and he’s been a trusted counselor for me and many others that I know in New York City and beyond. I routinely recommend him and his counseling practice for inI’ve known Jay for almost 24 years, and he’s been a trusted counselor for me and many others that I know in New York City and beyond. I routinely recommend him and his counseling practice for individuals and couples as I’ve found Jay to be thoughtful, wise, and skilled in navigating complex issues and dynamics with great care. dividuals and couples as I’ve found Jay to be thoughtful, wise, and skilled in navigating complex issues and dynamics with great care.

Dr. Marcia Lucas

I’ve known Dr. Jay Feld for over 15 years as a gifted professor, skilled therapist, and trusted colleague. His clients consistently report transformative results, and his integrity, warmth, and professionalism are unmatched. I recommend him without reservation.

Pete Scazzero

I’ve known Dr. J for 30 years, having served as a pastor on our staff for 7 years when I was Lead Pastor at New Life Fellowship in Queens, NY. Jay is gifted, thoughtful, and filled with wisdom — having done so much excellent work with God, himself, and others over the last 40+ years. I cannot recommend him highly enough!

Read My Book!

About the book:

Creating a life-giving and long-lasting relationship takes work! As a result of past wounds and present challenges, partners can end up in a "dysfunctional dance" that threatens their emotional bond-but the relationship doesn't have to stay this way. Based on his experience of working with hundreds of couples over the past fifteen years, Dr. Jay Feld explains the psychology of attachment, including what you can do to strengthen your bond and what you must avoid in order to keep it strong. He includes seven proven practices couples can use to better understand and strengthen their relationship.

Dr. Jay R. Feld

We lead stressful lives in a hectic culture, in an imperfect world, and sometimes our suffering spills over the top. And we would like an environment of safety and grace, where we can grow as individuals, couples, and families.

In my counseling practice, I promote recovery, healing, and growth by helping my clients build safe and healthy relationships, develop consistent habits of self-care, and find meaning and fulfillment in their relationships and their work. I deeply respect the spiritual journeys of all my clients.

I welcome the opportunity to accompany you on your journey, in an environment of safety and grace. I look forward to walking together with you toward restoration and wholeness.