Why People Get Better and Grow in Support Groups

by Dr. Jay Feld

When a newly recovering alcoholic named Bill Wilson met a still-active drinker named Dr. Bob Smith in 1935, and Bill began to tell Bob what he was learning about sobriety, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was born. Since then, millions of people all over the world have benefited from AA and a host of other support groups, as people with all types of life-controlling problems have come together to share their experiences, strength, and hope.

Support groups work for many different people in many different contexts, and people find hope and help in managing and overcoming various life-controlling problems in these groups. Here are some principles that effective support groups have in common.

Commonality and hope. In an effective support group people who come, sit, and listen will often go away thinking, “These people are just like me!,” and “Maybe if it works for them, it will work for me.” They realize that they are not alone, unique, or “weird” in their experience, and this gives them hope.

A feeling of “home,” love, warmth, safety, and acceptance. Effective support groups provide the kind of environment in which people can come out of their shells, let down their guard, and drop their self-protective mechanisms. Groups like this provide places where people can feel “naked and unashamed” emotionally, as they bare their souls without fear of ridicule or shame.

Teaching and learning. When people begin to recover from life-controlling problems, they have to unlearn a lot of unhealthy thinking and begin to learn healthy thinking. Group members with solid recovery can teach, by example and by words, the principles, and practices of recovery to newer members.

Providing a mirror. The group experience becomes a “mirror” for members who are growing in their journey of recovery. In the group they have opportunities to put their new learning about self and relationships into practice, to “test drive” their recovery in a safe environment, and to see themselves as they really are.

Doing good. Finally, group members learn to break out of the cycle of self-centeredness and isolation by reaching out to others. Bill Wilson had very little experience of sobriety when he first approached Bob Smith, but he knew that he needed to share his own experience of recovery with another fellow sufferer, for the sake of his own recovery. Sometimes all it takes to help another person is to be one step ahead of her or him.